mazauric: (ChibiAkame)
[personal profile] mazauric
Title: I'll Love You Always
Author: [livejournal.com profile] mazauric
Dedication: [livejournal.com profile] rikachi happy birthday love, I miss you still, I'll miss you always ;)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A series of posts Kazuya had made when he couldn't talk to Jin in person. He knew Jin would never read them, but he logged in anyway.
Notes: A standalone oneshot that fits after Cyberlove and before Rika's oneshot Until We Meet Again

kamechu wrote:
Hi baby

kamechu wrote:
You’re currently at work at the moment and you probably will never see this but my computer accidentally signed onto this and for the sake of nostalgia I thought I’d talk to you here

kamechu wrote:
Even though you’ll never see it because you don’t use this anymore

kamechu wrote:
Fair enough too. You don’t have to use it. Why use this when I’m right here? Talking to you, driving you crazy every day?

kamechu wrote:
I love you still

kamechu wrote:
I’ll love you always

kamechu has signed off

-

kamechu wrote:
You’re at work at the moment and I’m bored

kamechu wrote:
Remember when you asked me to move in with you?

kamechu wrote:
I was so happy too. My father was finally back in Japan and I could leave my mother with him without feeling any ounce of worry.

kamechu wrote:
At last my life was going to begin and it was going to begin with you.

kamechu wrote:
Fuck I hope you never sign into this because you’ll probably just come home and tell me what a huge sap I am.

kamechu wrote:
But I can’t help it

kamechu wrote:
I thought for sure I’d be stuck home forever. Looking after a mother who talks to herself all the time.

kamechu wrote:
I mean don’t get me wrong, if I didn’t love her so much, I wouldn’t have stayed like the good son I am but for gods sake, I’d resigned myself to never living my life

kamechu wrote:
And out of nowhere comes Jin the Superhero.

kamechu wrote:
You’d definitely call me a sap if you ever signed onto this

kamechu wrote:
But this is good. I can tell you all the things on here without my manly pride getting hurt. Get all my sappiness out on this, tell you I love you a million times without you going all pink and embarrassed like you do.

kamechu wrote:
I love you always.

kamechu has signed off

-

kamechu wrote:
We had a fight today

kamechu wrote:
You’ve gone off to sulk like you always do when you fight with me.

kamechu wrote:
You know I’m right about this one though

kamechu wrote:
Soon enough you’ll come back, we’ll hug, we’ll kiss and the fight will be put behind us

kamechu wrote:
Then later on when you think I’m sleeping, you’ll tell me I was right and we should go ahead and buy a new dishwasher

kamechu wrote:
Because seriously Jin, I know money is a little tight but I think getting a new dishwasher and having clean dishes for once is a lot more important than spending what little money we have on a new car

kamechu wrote:
To think we’ve now come to the point where we argue about dishwashers

kamechu wrote:
Your sister says we’re like an old married couple and we really are. Especially when we fight

kamechu wrote:
You have got to stop going to McDonalds when you’re sulking with me. Don’t think I can’t smell the fatty fries on you when you come back home

kamechu wrote:
Things will be alright

kamechu wrote:
I’ll finish my studies, we’ll get better jobs and we’ll be able to move out of this shitty apartment

kamechu wrote:
It’ll be alright

kamechu wrote:
You’re home now. I can see your car pulling in the parking lot.

kamechu wrote:
Aaaand there you are, don’t think I didn’t see that bag of McDonalds you just threw in the bin

kamechu wrote:
Here you come towards the door

kamechu wrote:
Remember not to take the elevator, it keeps breaking down

kamechu wrote:
Then I’ll have to go down to the landlord and tell him to let your stupid ass out for the fourth time

kamechu wrote:
My phone’s ringing

kamechu wrote:


kamechu wrote:
Fucking hell Jin.

kamechu wrote:
Alright I’m coming, I’m coming.

kamechu wrote:
Our cheap landlord should put a sign on that elevator.

kamechu wrote:
Even then you’d probably ignore it and use it anyway because you’re lazy and you hate stairs

kamechu wrote:
Okay, I’ll come get you out

kamechu wrote:
My little idiot

kamechu wrote:
I love you still

kamechu has signed off

-

kamechu wrote:
I can’t sleep

kamechu wrote:
Nobody can sleep when their partner snores like a train

kamechu wrote:
But you only snore when you’re really tired and considering the shifts you just pulled at work, that’s understandable

kamechu wrote:
Still…

kamechu wrote:
If I wasn’t so hopelessly in love with you, I’d block your nose so I can get some shut-eye

kamechu wrote:
You’re right next to me. I wanted to get up but your arm is around my waist and it’s warm so I thought I might just get my phone out and talk to you on here

kamechu wrote:
You’re not going to wake up. I can tell. Nothing short of a natural disaster is going to wake you up when you’re this tired.

kamechu wrote:
God I love you

kamechu wrote:
I know it’s incredibly sappy but every single time I look at you I’m reminded that without you in my life, I’d still be at home probably. Looking after my mother

kamechu wrote:
It would have been a terrible life and I’m not saying all the decisions I’ve made in my life have been good ones but talking to you has always been the best one

kamechu wrote:
Even I’m cringing at my shameless sappiness.

kamechu wrote:
We were so dramatic back then though

kamechu wrote:
Me with my cutting, pretending I was a girl. Both of us had problems and both of us needed to whine online about it.

kamechu wrote:
But that’s how we found each other so I can’t say it’s been all bad

kamechu wrote:
Did you ever wonder why I pretended to be a girl though?

kamechu wrote:
Moreover I chose the name Mariko

kamechu wrote:
I wanted to be someone else back then. Mariko meant ‘long distance child’ so it sort of suited me. It being the internet and all. I just didn’t expect to meet someone who’d be so close.

kamechu wrote:
Your arm is heavy but I don’t mind

kamechu wrote:
It’s a sign that you’re here. That you’ve got me and you’ll feel it if I leave.

kamechu wrote:
I won’t leave.

kamechu wrote:
I’ll never leave.

kamechu wrote:
Because every time I feel your weight next to me on the bed, or wake up to your nose mashed into my neck, or see you hiding your junk food under the bed I’m reminded just how warm my life is when you’re in it.

kamechu wrote:
You know, letting out my sappiness on this forum where you’ll never see it is really relieving.

kamechu wrote:
I’m not going to get any sleep tonight but that’s alright

kamechu wrote:
I’ll just watch your face. Trace my finger down the slope of your nose, along your lips, kiss the beauty mark just under your eye.

kamechu wrote:
And maybe pluck your eyebrows, they’re too messy

kamechu wrote:
My little sloth

kamechu wrote:
I love you

kamechu has signed off

-

kamechu wrote:
Your sister got married today

kamechu wrote:
It’s weird. I’ve been with you for four years now and I haven’t even thought about things like this until now

kamechu wrote:
I mean why would I? It’s not like we can ever get married.

kamechu wrote:
I could tell you’d been thinking about it ever since she showed us the ring

kamechu wrote:
It’s just one of those things we can’t have

kamechu wrote:
Like kids. Can’t have those either

kamechu wrote:
Then again your sister has so many and we babysit all the time so it sure as hell feels like we have them.

kamechu wrote:
Do you want to marry me?

kamechu wrote:
What kind of wedding would we have?

kamechu wrote:
Your sisters wedding was expensive and elaborate

kamechu wrote:
This long white train trailing behind her dress

kamechu wrote:
The flowergirl threw the flowers at the guests instead of just in the air

kamechu wrote:
And I’m pretty sure one of the bridesmaids was eyeing you the entire ceremony

kamechu wrote:
Not that you noticed. You got drunk on the wine and tried to make out with me in the middle of the dance floor

kamechu wrote:
If we got married, I think it would be a calm wedding

kamechu wrote:
As calm as it can be anyway

kamechu wrote:
Your sister would bring all her kids and they’d all get into the places they’re not supposed to

kamechu wrote:
My mother would probably start talking about the voices in her head and my father would be trying to sedate her so nobody thinks she’s crazy

kamechu wrote:
Your mother would probably cry like she did today at your sisters wedding

kamechu wrote:
One of us would have to walk down the aisle

kamechu wrote:
...well

kamechu wrote:
You’re prettier

kamechu wrote:
And you’d suit the dress…

kamechu wrote:
...just saying…

kamechu wrote:
I call dibbs on the suit.

kamechu wrote:
My beautiful bride

kamechu wrote:
I do

kamechu has signed off

-

kamechu wrote:
We had another fight

kamechu wrote:
I don’t even know what this one was about because you’ve been off all day

kamechu wrote:
Maybe it’s your time of the month

kamechu wrote:
I hate it when you do this to me. Usually you’re so straight forward, usually you tell me what I’ve done wrong so I can fix it but this time I’m totally clueless

kamechu wrote:
You’ve left me to sulk again

kamechu wrote:
I don’t know what I’m going to do with you

kamechu wrote:
You piss me off so much

kamechu wrote:
Yet I’m the one who stays at home and waits for you to come back

kamechu wrote:
I could take my car

kamechu wrote:
I could go sulk with McDonalds

kamechu wrote:
I could not come back and make you wait

kamechu wrote:
Instead I’m here and you know why?

kamechu wrote:
Because I can’t think of what your face would look like if you came back home after a fight to find me gone.

kamechu wrote:
Would you know I’m coming back?

kamechu wrote:
Would you get scared?

kamechu wrote:
Would you wait for me?

kamechu wrote:
I don’t want to know. So I stay and I wait

kamechu wrote:
Where would I go anyway? It’s not like I want to go to McDonalds

kamechu wrote:
I could drive around but we don’t have the money to waste on petrol

kamechu wrote:
Maybe I’ll just watch reruns of Gossip Girl

kamechu wrote:
And wait for you to come back and tell me what I did this time so I can fix it

kamechu wrote:
Damn you piss me off

kamechu wrote:
Still I love you

kamechu wrote:
More than you’ll ever know

kamechu has signed off

-

kamechu wrote:
Apparently I work too much

kamechu wrote:
That’s why you were pissed at me

kamechu wrote:
Honey, we need the money

kamechu wrote:
We have a new apartment now and that’s mostly down to me pulling extra hours at work

kamechu wrote:
I know you work just as hard

kamechu wrote:
I know you want me home more often but we need the money.

kamechu wrote:
One day when we have a more comfortable life. When we’re not scraping by week by week just to survive, I’ll lower my hours

kamechu wrote:
But for now, all I want is for us to survive

kamechu wrote:
Remember this, I’ll always come back to you

kamechu wrote:
Whether it’s too late at night or too early in the morning, I’ll always return

kamechu wrote:
But then I’ve told you this before

kamechu wrote:
This is probably one of the major things we will always disagree on

kamechu wrote:
I need to work. We need money and we need to stop living in a hovel

kamechu wrote:
You called me a ‘workaholic’ I can accept that, I probably am

kamechu wrote:
But it’s not without a goal

kamechu wrote:
One we’ll get soon

kamechu wrote:
And when we’re older and living comfortable lives, it’ll be a hazy blip in a long, happy past

kamechu wrote:
A long life with you is all I want

kamechu wrote:
I may come home late again tonight

kamechu wrote:
But I’ll sleep curled up next to you

kamechu wrote:
Like always

kamechu has signed off

-

kamechu wrote:
To think it all began with a plea for help online

kamechu wrote:
The older generation may moan and complain about the internet taking away face to face interaction, and maybe they’re right, but it brought me you

kamechu wrote:
At the moment you’re out drinking

kamechu wrote:
Which is fine. The only reason why I couldn’t come with you is because I had some work to finish off here at home

kamechu wrote:
Besides while you’re gone I can watch Gossip Girl without you complaining

kamechu wrote:
So here I sit in the living room

kamechu wrote:
A mountainload of files spread out on the table and floor, a drink of wine next to me and Gossip Girl on the TV

kamechu wrote:
Life is good

kamechu wrote:
Life would be better if I didn’t have to work but it’s not like it’s hard

kamechu wrote:
You’ll probably message me later when you’re drunk

kamechu wrote:
Telling me you’re going to take a taxi home because you lost your keys again and you don’t want me driving when I’ve got so much work to do

kamechu wrote:
Sometimes watching the shameless lives the people on here live is strangely fun. I can’t exactly explain how though

kamechu wrote:
It’s just so different from my own life I guess.

kamechu wrote:
Not that I can complain about my life now though.

kamechu wrote:
I have you

kamechu wrote:
I’ll give up everything before I ever give up you

kamechu wrote:
Akanishi Jin I hope you know how loved you are

kamechu wrote:
I have a feeling you do

kamechu wrote:
You’re not as dumb as you always appear to be

kamechu wrote:
Ooh, gotta get back to Gossip Girl

kamechu wrote:
It’s starting to get interesting

kamechu wrote:
See you when you get back, baby

kamechu has signed off

-

kamechu wrote:
One more time

kamechu wrote:
One more time before I leave again

kamechu wrote:
The morning is cold

kamechu wrote:
I’m tired

kamechu wrote:
You’re sleeping on the bed and you look so beautiful and peaceful that I just want to curl into your arms and stay there today

kamechu wrote:
You’re not happy with me

kamechu wrote:
I came home late last night and I’m leaving early this morning

kamechu wrote:
I get it

kamechu wrote:
I do

kamechu wrote:
You want me home more

kamechu wrote:
You want me to quit

kamechu wrote:
We fought about it again and it was different this time

kamechu wrote:
Because this time you weren’t angry. You were sad

kamechu wrote:
And if there’s one thing I cannot stand it’s you being sad. Especially when I’m the cause.

kamechu wrote:
One more time, I want to look at you like this

kamechu wrote:
Unguarded. Your face calm. Beautiful.

kamechu wrote:
I chose you. I’ll always choose you.

kamechu wrote:
Starting tomorrow I’ll try something new. I’ll lower my hours. I’ll come home more. I’ll sleep more.

kamechu wrote:
God I’m tired

kamechu wrote:
But one more time

kamechu wrote:
Just one more time I want to look at you like this before I go.

kamechu wrote:
Because the longer I work, the harder it is to leave you

kamechu wrote:
Knowing it will be a long set of long hours before I see you again

kamechu wrote:
But starting tomorrow that will change. I promise

kamechu wrote:
Just give me these last few moments to look at you

kamechu wrote:
And when I come home, it’ll be earlier

kamechu wrote:
We’ll be like always

kamechu wrote:
Because I love you still

kamechu wrote:
I’ll love you always

kamechu has signed off

-

Z/N: First of all, happy birthday to my longtime co-writing partner [livejournal.com profile] rikachi! Whilst she is off having the time of her life in America, I have just nearly finished the week from hell and I'm mostly relieved and happy that it's over. As for this story...well I found myself reading Cyberlove and Until We Meet Again when I was supposed to be studying and when I saw that Rika's standalone oneshot was written for me approximately two years ago now, it seemed only fitting to answer. That and when an idea sits in my head, I have to write. That and you guys have asked me to stop writing angsty fics for once so here is your fluffy, sappy fic...now I'm going to come back with angsty vengeance. All that lovey stuff has seriously made me want to pull a Trial Zero prologue again.

Now that it's all done, the first thing I'm going to do is kill my sims


Kidding, but I'm a ruthless control freak and sims makes me feel better. (You know what else makes me feel better? Game of Thrones. Good god, that finale, that last episode of season six. I can't stop watching it, the sheer brilliance of it is not to be underestimated!!!)

After that, I'm going to come back to writing. The situation is this: My computer is still dead and it's now gone so there's no way I can recollect the files I lost. There were half finished chapters, half finished oneshots and a lot of stories that would probably never see the light of day anyway.
So I'm going to start anew. Look into where I was up to in the following multichapters and continue writing new chapters. They might be a little different, all my plans are gone too so I need to figure out new plans of where they're going but I will return to writing in the three week break I have. There be my plans for the following:

  • Trial Zero (Whitecap Widow)

  • The Lost Weeks (Judgement Call 4)

  • Nightfall

  • Ashtray Heart

  • Elemental Series

To be continued afterwards:

  • Wastelands

It's a lot, but not impossible. After all, I've been pretty depressed without my writing but now that the hell that is exams is over, I can concentrate on this once again :)

Love you all! (I'll love you always <3)
Zara

Date: 2016-06-30 04:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reika-kun.livejournal.com
Thank you for this awesome fic!!! And kame is sooo sappy in here lol but i love it <333 after reviewing for hours and seeing this here it was like you've given me a reward for studying hard today XD

Btw what is the problem of your Computer is it the motherboard?? If its the motherboard maybe you can ask a technician to pull out the harddrive inside so you can get your files there :)
And omedetou that your exams are over now ^^ , i'm gonna wait for your next updates :D ganbarre in your studies and thank you for always giving us these wonderful akame fics ^^
Edited Date: 2016-06-30 04:46 pm (UTC)

Date: 2016-07-13 03:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mazauric.livejournal.com
Kame's very sappy in here, but then I think he never thought Jin would be able to read it, so he was allowed to be as sappy as he wanted. I hope the study was good!

The computer problem was actually the screen. It's gone now so I can't get anything from it unfortunately.
Thanks for reading and commenting! My exams are all over now...until the next batch.

Date: 2016-06-30 07:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pinkporca.livejournal.com
So glad to see this one shot. Stories about akame are now far and few between. Glad that you have not given up. Good luck in completing other fic. I will wait patiently for them. Sorry about your computer though. I loved this little one shot. So sappy but just just right.

Date: 2016-07-13 03:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mazauric.livejournal.com
Akame stories are a little rare these days but given what's been happening lately, I'm not at all surprised. I came into the akame scene a little late too so I'm making up for lost time.
I'm glad you liked this oneshot! Thanks for reading and commenting!

Date: 2016-06-30 10:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meeii.livejournal.com
I cried, I swear I did coz this was so sweet, so romantic... so beautiful in every possible way!!
you're such a sap XD hhh
thank you and God Job

happy birthday to Rika

Date: 2016-07-13 03:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mazauric.livejournal.com
lol thanks! I'm glad you liked it!
And yes, sappy is allowed...mainly because Kame never thought Jin would read this. It's like a diary of sorts I guess

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Date: 2016-07-01 01:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rikachi.livejournal.com
Omg!! I can't believe you did this <3 thank you so much. As always I love going back to past fics, sometimes I just miss the atmosphere and this was just what I needed to finish off my birthday. Thank you sweetheart. Getting back to writing will be at the top of my list once I get back home from here.

*is feeling loved*

Date: 2016-07-13 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mazauric.livejournal.com
And then you realise that the last entry from Kame was the very day the events happen to spur on the next fic....dun dun duuuun!
Happy belated birthday (belated now, I posted it on time...I think...) Hope you're having lots of fun and I'll see you when you get back!

Date: 2016-07-03 03:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hilly-katara.livejournal.com
It was a beautiful continuation of Cyberlove !!!
I had not read Until We Meet Again written by Rika chan, so when I read it I understood everything was tragic and sad ...
I crieeeeeeeeeed :'(
you make a great team and we as readers fail to live these feelings
thank you very much
I'll be waiting for subsequent updates *__________*

Date: 2016-07-13 04:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mazauric.livejournal.com
Rika's part is particularly tragic, so I figured mine kind of fit in between Cyberlove and Until We Meet Again. I'm glad we could bring out such emotions!
Thanks for reading and commenting!

Date: 2016-07-13 04:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hilly-katara.livejournal.com
It is that I am a very sensitive person, well, too sensitive :'(
but I love the work you do, you are a great team!!!!!!!

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